Do moments push your buttons or supercharge our growth? Let's unpack that together. I'm Tiona Thompson, your guide on this empowering journey through the latest episode of Affirmations of a Bad Bitch, where we dissect the nuanced difference between being triggered and being activated. It's about shifting gears from a world where things happen to you, to a universe where everything unfolds FOR you. We'll navigate the emotional whirlpools of jealousy and hurt without drowning, transforming our darkest triggers into beacons of self-awareness and opportunities for self-healing.
As we do the inner work, our outer world changes—this is the heart of our conversation. Boundaries become our allies, and introspection our compass. I'll walk you through the liberating power of accountability and the courage it takes to confront the shadows of our insecurities. Together, we'll embark on a soulful adventure, proving that by facing and embracing our triggers, we not only uplift ourselves but also contribute to the collective healing of all our relationships. It's an evolution from passively feeling victimized to actively participating in our own growth—and I can't wait for you to join me.
Speaker 1:
Hello, my beautiful babies, I'm your host, tiana Thompson, and this is Affirmations of a Bad Bitch. Today's episode is about being triggered versus being activated. What's the difference? There isn't one. Besides your perception, they are the same. Just like how you see a glass either half empty or half full, you can see situations as either triggers something that's happening to you that makes you upset or as an activation something that's just happening, something that is giving you an opportunity to learn, to grow and to understand yourself.
Speaker 1:
This isn't an easy flip. There isn't just a switch you can turn on and oh, my perception has changed like. It takes practice, it takes time and it takes effort you have to put in the work. So start by learning not to take everything so personally. Like I said a minute ago, things are not happening to you, they are just happening. So take advantage of that by making the situation something that is happening for you.
Speaker 1:
Things and life in general has no real meaning until we give it one. We give life meaning. We give every situation we experience meaning Good or bad, that's up to us to decide. So, getting triggered, getting your feelings hurt, becoming angry or reacting out of hurt is that really what you choose for yourself, being in that anger, staying hurt, jealous, thinking why me? Why is this happening to me? That's really what you want for yourself? I don't believe that it is. Maybe you've just never realized you even have a choice, that you can choose to be happy, choose to be unconditionally compassionate. You can be aware of your own reactions, aware of your thoughts, and even when you feel like you want to be a bitch, you can choose not to.
Speaker 1:
I know this is a big thing for some people. Personally, I don't mind it. I actually prefer not texting people. Even if I'm in a committed relationship with someone. I'm like please go do something with yourself. Like why do I have to entertain you all day? Just call me later or just come over and I'll see you in person and talk, but I don't need to know where you're at, I don't need to know what you're doing or who you're with. Those things are out of my control. You can do whatever you want. Whatever you want, I'm not your mom. If I'm your partner, I'm your partner, not your mother. I'm not telling you what you can and can't do. What I do have control over are my own boundaries, my choices and my boundaries.
Speaker 1:
When I do start feeling jealous, I'm able to be like okay, is this really jealousy Because they are genuinely doing something to make me feel this way? Or is this really me feeling insecure in myself? Maybe I'm not good enough and I'm just disguising that as jealousy so that I don't have to take accountability? It's usually the latter. It's taken a lot for me to get to this point like this level of self-awareness, I guess, but I'm so fucking happy that I'm here. Is that to say I don't have things I need to work on? Still Absolutely not. But it's a step and the self-awareness allows you to take that step back and see things as they are, not how you're projecting them to be out of hurt.
Speaker 1:
So the next time you're feeling triggered by someone, take the step back. What is it that's triggering you and why, like truly why? What is at the root of all of this? Step back and reflect on it, get out of your ego and into your heart, let yourself feel it, but know that you don't have to believe it. And now you're no longer triggered, you're being activated. You're bringing to light these deep beliefs that you'll be abandoned, that you don't deserve love, that you're not good enough. What happens when you bring shadows to the light, they themselves become of light. Now you see what you can work on and you see the lies you're telling yourself. You see that people aren't out to hurt you. You're unconsciously hurting yourself. Take accountability and the feelings are heavy, but this isn't bad. This is an opportunity to heal and as you heal yourself, you heal relationships, you heal the people around you. Just by healing yourself, by showing people there is another way. They can now choose to walk down the same path as you have. Start believing that things are happening for you, not to you. Oh my god, this person said this and it really hurt my feelings. Oh, it hurt your feelings. You're acknowledging that, that you're hurt. Well, why does that hurt? What part of you does that hurt? How can you heal that hurt? This is an opportunity. Like I said, it's not. The world is not out to get you. The universe is not throwing tests at you to see how you take the pain. You are the one testing yourself. You just have to become aware of it.
Speaker 1:
But absolutely do not get discouraged about still feeling triggered. It happens to everyone. It's about learning from it. You can still react abruptly, tell someone to fuck off and then later sit and reflect and be like oh well, maybe I shouldn't have said that, maybe I'm just mad because I feel like they're better than me and that's why I told them to fuck off. Okay, okay, that's awareness you're learning. Learn from it. Don't feel shame, don't feel guilt. That keeps you even more stuck in the cycle of feeling down and feeling bad and needing to heal. It's a practice. It takes time, but it does get easier.
Speaker 1:
Eventually, you will notice yourself not reacting to situations like you would have in the past. You're like wow, I didn't even realize I was growing. I didn't even realize I was healing. A year ago I would have punched someone in the face or I would have screamed or I would have cried. I would have been so upset I would have thrown something. I would have acted irrationally. But look at you now. We never realize how much we're growing while it's happening. But, like flowers, don't think about blooming, they just do. Give yourself grace, give yourself love and give yourself choice Cup half full or half empty, it's up to you.
Speaker 1:
So activate yourself, be grateful for the situations and for the people that show you the things at your core, the things that you bury deep, deep down because you don't want anyone to see. You don't want yourself to see how hurt you really are. Be grateful for the situations that show that to you, that bring those shadows to the light. Be grateful for the self-awareness that you have, your ability to sit and reflect and figure out. Why is this bothering you? That's something to be grateful for.
Speaker 1:
Most people stay in the state of constant reacting to everything. Not everything warrants a reaction. When you stop reacting, you can start responding. A level-headed response is going to get you so much further than a hurt reaction, and your ability to respond rather than react will piss some people off. Some people just want to get a reaction out of you. They want to know that they're getting under your skin. Don't let them. Don't let them. Don't let situations bother you. Even if someone is saying the meanest, nastiest things to you oh well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Or you can say are you okay? More than likely they're not. More than likely they're projecting their insecurities onto you. We are all just reflections or all mirrors of each other. Get activated and activate those around you. Now let's say our affirmations. Repeat after me I am strong, I am kind, I am loved. I sent love Again. I am strong, I am kind, I am loved. I sent love. And one last time. I am strong, I am kind, I am loved. I sent love. Until next week sending love.